


even the Antichrist can kiss

by magisterequitum



Category: Veep
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-05 02:42:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1088644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magisterequitum/pseuds/magisterequitum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't think being your chief of staff includes creating a political scandal about myself to take the focus off of you." She's slowly crumpling the file folder in her hand. </p><p>Selina stops fiddling with a pen on her desk, looking up to stare at her. Her eyebrows constrict. "Then what the fuck good are you?" She holds up a hand and waggles her fingers. "No, wait, that's not what I meant. I know how valuable you are to me. You at least pretend to give a shit most of the time."</p>
            </blockquote>





	even the Antichrist can kiss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [irishmizzy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/irishmizzy/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide!
> 
> I hope you like this treat as much as I enjoyed writing it. When I saw your letter and that you wanted fake dating as a trope, I was oh too happy to write it because it definitely should exist.

"You want me to do what?" 

Amy doesn't need to actually see her face to know that she's pulling off one of her more outrageous expressions. Her sister liked to tell her that's why she could never keep a man and people were afraid of her. Amy liked to tell her to go fuck off back to herself and her own problems. 

"Come on, Amy, this is what you do. This is what I need you to do." The VP's tone is bordering on becoming something whiney, and Amy really wishes she'd taken up Sue's offer to go get lunch. 

"I don't think being your chief of staff includes creating a political scandal about myself to take the focus off of you." She's slowly crumpling the file folder in her hand. 

Selina stops fiddling with a pen on her desk, looking up to stare at her. Her eyebrows constrict. "Then what the fuck good are you?" She holds up a hand and waggles her fingers. "No, wait, that's not what I meant. I know how valuable you are to me. You at least pretend to give a shit most of the time." 

Amy shakes her head, mouth parting in disbelief. She's still convinced maybe she's dreaming. Or she'd popped one too many pills this morning for her headache. "Why do you even need me to do this?" 

Selina's eyes narrow and her mouth purses. It's her 'I might have done something stupid face but I'm not gonna admit it'. "Mike found some whisperings that Kent and I might have been caught-" 

First off, Amy doesn't believe Mike actually managed to do something his job required. 

Second, she'd known bringing Kent in as consultant for the campaign would be disastrous. She'd just not thought it would be because of his dick in this manner. 

"Wait," she interrupts, "You and Kent?" 

At least it's not fucking Andrew again. She thinks. 

The VP's face shifts into something reminiscent of a teenage love struck look. It's somehow worse than the dreamy giggly looks she'd get when talking about Andrew. "There's this thing he can do with his tongue that-"

"Okay, _no_ ," Amy flaps her hands and shakes her head, papers flying out of the now destroyed folder. "Don't need to know. Don't want to know." 

Selina snaps out of her orgasm remembering phase and gives Amy a gritty smile. "You'll do it then? Please? I mean people already thought he was your baby's father."

That's not a reason at all for Amy to say yes, but she sighs and thinks this isn't even a low point for her career. Not even in the past month. "Fine. But I'm getting shitfaced for this." 

Cell phone in hand and glasses pushed back up her nose, Selina's already shifting to something else. She taps a few buttons, and says, "Just make sure you put your tongue down his throat. Grab his ass or something too." 

Definitely shitfaced. 

 

 

 

Dan nearly falls out of his chair when Amy relays what the VP just asked her, them, to do. 

He's got the chair up on two legs and is chewing on a coffee swizzle stick. When she tells him they're wanted to fake date and attract the media, she takes delight in how he almost chokes on the plastic. She's annoyed when he doesn't actually. 

He spits the swizzle stick onto the floor and corrects himself, feet stomping down to regain his balance. "What?" 

There's no one else in the office right now, but she keeps her voice low anyway. She knows how to do her job, unlike others, aka everyone else in the office. "Selina's been fucking Kent and someone wants to start rumors about it. She wants us to distract." 

Behind his head in gaudy bright red and blue block letters is a sign that reads 'Selina for President'. 

Dan's face scrunches in disgust. "She and Kent, god. That's disgusting." 

She tilts her head. "Apparently he does something with his tongue." 

His lips twist in a snarl. "Even more disgusting." 

"At least it's not-"

"-Andrew," he says, finishing her sentence. 

They both shudder at that thought. 

A slow smirk starts to creep over his face. "So she wants us to dazzle the media?" 

Amy narrows her eyes. "Don't get too excited." 

His shark grin only widens further. "Why don't you just use your boy?" 

She reaches out and kicks his shin, disrupting him in the chair again. "None of your business, but we're not together any more. Besides, we need something that will actually attract attention." 

He makes a noise of excitement. "Oooohh, so you're admitting your boy was boring and I'm better." 

"Go fuck yourself, I have work to do. Be ready for the event tonight." She turns around and gives him her back, making sure her hair swings around her jaw. 

"Wear something tight!" Dan hollers after her, rolling himself back and forth on the floor. 

 

 

 

She does wear something tight. 

Not because of Dan. 

But because she recently bought the blue number on a sale's rack at Nordstrom and she's not had the chance to wear it yet. It'd been a purchase for Ed, but well that was shit now. The fabric cut low in the front and made her ass and tits look great. 

Okay maybe also because of Dan. 

Nothing wrong admitting it to herself in the mirror but she wanted his face to do that thing where his eyes got big and his mouth slackened at the corners. Like the night he'd drank too much and harassed Ed with Jonah at the bar. Sue her, she likes attention. 

 

 

 

Dan's face does do the thing. 

"I need a drink," Amy says and smiles, taking satisfaction in the slack-jawed look she gets when she slides up to him at the event's bar. 

"Shit," he says and waves a hand behind his shoulder for the bartender. 

The fundraiser is for some arts event, raising money and awareness for a D.C. plan on reviving H Street. There's already far too many people she hates here. She can see the VP's mouth already starting to strain at the corners, her bullshit smile in place as she shakes hands and greets people. Gary trails two feet behind her. 

"Alright," she says after taking a sip of the whiskey he presses into her hand. "Let's do this." 

 

 

 

Turns out Dan's not so bad at the pretend being together thing. 

On reflection, she thinks maybe she shouldn't be so surprised. The man is a complete douchebag weasel, but he does have enough charisma and smarts to charm anyone into anything. Sensible since the Antichrist surely had to have those skills. 

He's attentive, sliding up behind her when she gets stuck talking to a Congressman that won't take his eyes off her breasts. His hand is warm against her hip and his look disturbing and glowering to the older man. 

Amy leans against him and smiles. Maybe it's not so fake and her laughter is genuine as he tells shitty jokes about everyone in the room. 

She only has one drink the whole night. 

 

 

 

Which is probably why she goes ahead and kisses him when he starts talking how they can take Chung down once they hit the campaign trail again. 

He's been drinking so his lips carry the tang of whiskey and whatever fucking ChapStick he's been using. She cuts him right off and pulls his head down to her, fingers curving around his jaw. They're tucked in behind an alcove, removed from the mass of bodies but still visible. 

Dan responds back, shifting focus to her, tongue dipping past her parted lips. He's a good kisser, she'd forgotten that. This close, as she slits her eyes open a moment, she can see the freckles on his face and it's truly unfair. Handsome and politically sharp and an ass. 

'Don't speak," Amy says when they break for air. "No talking." 

Something shudders across his eyes for a moment but then he shrugs. He curls a hand around the nape of her bare neck and pulls her up to his mouth where even her heels don't make her tall enough to reach. 

They can possibly make out for two more minutes before it becomes too much for the fundraiser. They may or may not use every second. 

 

 

 

The next morning Mike turns his computer screen to show a picture of the two of them caught on some shitty camera phone when she enters the office. 

"Looking good there, Amy," he calls with a leer. 

"Shut up, Mike." She gives him the finger as she keeps walking to her office. 

 

 

 

If at the next event on the road they get caught in a corner again, Amy doesn't bother saying Selina didn't ask them do it this time.


End file.
